foie, FB flashbacks,

Wedding tonight (not mine, obviously). I wore a dress and looked almost pretty, in a mermaid sort of way.

I was reminded that I come from a long line of feisty women and hedonists, and that it is nice to have people that are family, in a sense, out here in the west.

I tried foie, finally. It was sort of okay, bland until the cracker was gone and the berry coulis was gone and I was left with a mouthful of buttery, fatty protein. The foie. Not exactly how I wanted to do it. But I'll do it again, in a kitchen I trust.

I had ham, too, hiding under the cheese in my pizza. The taste unpleasant in the way a mouthful of swallowed salt water is when you're trying to swim.

I met some nice kids who work, or used to, in the FB. They all know the guy who used to have my job. Many have referenced him. There are conflicting stories, rumors, told to me by people I don't quite trust and some chef I used to like, and then normal reports told to me by my boss, whom I do like. One of the girls I met works for the Miette candy store, so we discussed Miette, the internship, and all of that. Lately I'm feeling like I've been around a block or two out here, like I know people or know of them or they know me, and things really are getting small. It's so strange to feel a part of this community, and all its conflicting relationships, rumors, gossip.

What to do about love, that bastard?

knife bliss

I got a new knife today! Finally used up my Sur La Table gift certificate after work, to buy a Global Santoko. I tried the Shun on the staff's insistence, but I can't use a Shun. Reminds me too much of the grim old boss, plus the handle's too big. The Wusthof handles were likewise weird, overly large in my small girlish hands. I just went to the kitchen to pick up my bread knife and even that feels odd in my hands and that is the sexiest knife I own.

My Global's really awesome. I'm not into them for being trendy, and if I were into trendy knives I'd get a Shun or something, but it fits so naturally in my hand and it's really lightweight esp. when compared to my chef's knife. Knives, boring, right.

The last Fauchon in NYC's closing. I read the Beard dateline pages for three cities now, Boston, NYC and SF. I was thinking yesterday about what my life would be like if instead of coming west I'd gone back to New York to beg a stage out of Claudia Fleming or someone else. How I'd be crashing on the apartments of friends, how I wouldn't have gotten the chance to see a Michael Pollan reading like I did last night, and how I probably wouldn't have been as writerly as I've been here. Enjoying myself.

Today at work, I made quince-rhubarb upside down cakes, using David Lebovitz's recipe. The fruit part is yummy, but the cake is stiff and sort of flavorless. I'd like more of a brown sugary, burnt-buttery cake, but it's hard because I've onyl got one day to make anything I could want and even then a good chunk of that day's spent prepping for the standards and baking things off. Still, I've got a good five hours to do ANYTHING I WANT. What else did I make today...Maura's strawberry lavender cream tarts (got to try one tomorrow, that's been on my list to make for a long time). Pastry cream for fresh fruit tarts. Shortcakes for blood-orange and quince shortcakes.

I'm thinking of a Bavarian for next week. Still haven't tried one. Maybe with the asian pear chutney, or a caramel and apricot marmalade, or a lemon bavarian with something, maybe strawberry plum jam. The caramel idea is my favorite, but do those things all go? According to my handy flavor profile list, cardamom, caramel, vanilla nuts and stone fruits all go well with apricots. So vanilla bavarian with caramel and jam layer. Also some poppy orange cookies with blackberry jam. The strawberry tiramisu (Paul Bertolli's recipe, I presume) if Becky does fax over the hot milk sponge recipe.

I should just make larger batches. I made the shortbread today and it made 18 cakes. Enough for two weeks, but I could have made double that and frozen most, but the recipes really don't indicate quantity at all. I'd just like to be more effective. I'd like to not have to spend so much time baking tart shells and cutting up fruit and more time making muffins and custards and cakes and cookies. I'll get more efficient with time. Today was only day three. Sheesh.

Bad thing: I got a chicken burrito from the cart outside my street last night and i was SO SICK today. ugggh. Like, really I shouldn't have been working kind of sick. That is until Rafael made me a magic drink. Sparkling water, salt, half a lemon and baking soda. He promised me I'd feel better and I didn't believe him. I don't want to think about what meatiness founds its way into my burrito: pork skin, brains, tongue...this, and I'd daydreaming of bacon ice cream and foie.

uh oh

any sentence that starts out "I was thinking of eating some foie gras" is bad. I'd eat to know how it feels to eat it-how it feels in my mouth, how it feels under my fork, and so on. But awww...it's fattened duck liver. How gross.

Also considering eating brandade. But it's the smell I'd have to get by in that case.

Please, some nice vegetarian somewhere, tempt me away from the foie gras. I'll feed my characters salads and whole grain rice, so I won't have to wonder how foie gras slides down your throat and why it supposedly goes so well with jam and why it causes such rapture.